Thursday, March 14, 2024

In Memory of Luke, Our Furball Family Member (2022)

 “Steak Dinner!?”

By: Carmelo Bono

My mother had been calling out for the dog outside for the last 20 minutes, and I had been getting yelled at for 10 of those minutes to get outside and circle the property. “What am I going to look for, obviously he is not here. If he were home, he’d come to the door to return in the house. He has done this before, who the heck knows where he is off, its Matt’s dog, send him after it.” I barked.

My brother has a dog, on our family farm. The dog’s name is Luke, he was a basset hound and this is how he scored steak dinners for life.

Luke had been making disappearances in infrequent, yet noticeably increasing amounts. We had no idea where he would have been going. We had suspicions, but not received calls from neighbours, shelters or police. We were begin to get worried he was heading to the back wooded area and spending time with the coyotes. We had lost a number of animals to those bandits and realistically, we were concerned of a few things that might happen.

When my brother, sister and I got home from school, the first thing we were trained to do, was to put the dogs outside to go pee. The dogs were not always locked up, because well I mean, they need to be able to run around. You need ed to keep your eyes on them though or they’d be gone. We would keep, an eye on them, usually, for me it would have been while I’m on the phone “tying up the phone line, as my parents would have put it.” and for my sister, it would have been while she was starting her homework. My brother, would either tie them up or just allow my sister or I to take care of it.

We’d also take them out to the barn to let them run around while we did chores, but again-if you aren’t watching them, they’ll sneak off on ya. Like I mentioned before, they would not run away forever, they would always come back, just sometimes it was 3 AM, or the next morning.

Eventually my parents made the decision that we need to get a bit strict with Luke as he was the trouble maker off the lot. We’d tie him and the others would generally stay put. Oh he hated that, he howled and barked at us to take him off the chain so he could run or join us in the barn. One of the funniest things to watch and yet one of the most alarming, was when we would be in the barn just finishing up chores and my Ma would let him off the chain and we could hear bounding in the distance accompanied by the jingle of his collar. “Oh great! Ma let him off the chain again-seriously!?” His tongue would be waving in the wind and his short stubby legs clearing the uneven ground, spontaneous barks fired out as he expected geese, and ducks to make way.

One of these nights, when he disappeared, he didn’t come back. There were a few times this happened, except this time he wasn’t returning mucked up and smelling of ditch water from chasing musk rats. He was clean, perky looking, satisfied.

I called my Dad to let him know Luke took off before I even had a chance to chain him up, I was going to let him run for a bit, but he just took off the second I turned my back. My Dad asked me to call up the neighbours and see if he showed up there. No answer. To my surprise, we got a call a little later from the neighbours saying that they just got my message, Luke was in doors with them and they all just finished having dinner, “they all”. Our neighbour was going to drive Luke back over.

 

I wasn’t really aware of the context “all”, I figured, maybe they had dinner guests or something. My Dad, Ma and I were outside talking to our neighbour, catching up and collecting Luke. My Dad thanked our neighbour and my neighbour said, “Oh it’s always a delight when Luke comes over for dinner, my wife loves having him over, ever since our dog passed away. You know, its actually quite funny, she even sets a spot for him on the floor, when he doesn’t come for dinner, she ends up leaving it outside-I told her she shouldn’t encourage him, but he is quite a lovable little guy eh?”

The three of us looked at Luke, oh-he knew. My Ma laughed and asked, “What do you give him?”

The neighbour said, well it was steak night tonight, but generally, you know whatever. Our dog, used to eat everything.”

I looked at the dog, my dad and I laughed, waved to our neighbour and went back in where I laughed even harder. My Dad blew a gasket, mostly because we used to give the neighbour a lot of grief when his dog would come over and rip apart our free range chicken stock or torment our barn cats. Embarrassed is a word, hilarious is another. My Ma was convinced that Luke was just playing the system too well, doesn’t like “dog food” and table scraps so he goes over for a five star meal at Casa A Le Neighbours.

Oh Luke. 

Happy Father's 2024

Hey Dad,

This letter comes to you from across the globe, its been a rough couple years since I had been home, and realistically nothing can make up for the time me lost except for the fact-that in the time I have been away, I have been learning how to be the best father I could be through not just my own understanding of the role, but through the application of all the things that I learned from have you as my father.

My son-your grandson shows understanding that "you can't fix stupid" and "its not worth crying about if crying ain't gonna change the fact of what the situation is."

The plan, to return home years ago, has been constantly delayed because my wife and I had opportunities here that we don't have at home. To be frank, I don't think I'd be able to to look at myself in the same way sometimes if I hadn't stuck it out here so far. With that being said, the things I have missed are things that I won't ever be able to proudly say I have no regrets for missing them. 

My son, constantly asks when we will be able to return to my home, so he can see his Nonno and Nonna. He loves his cars, and I tell him that I was very lucky, when I grew up I had so many cars, trucks, bugs and dinosuars that my father even kept so he could give them to him to play with when he got old enough.

My Dad, (and my Mom-but its Father's Day), were the kindest people that I could only appreciate as much as I understood the world at the time. Unfortunately, a lot less than that of today. 

In the end of this journey, I'll have a Santa Clause sized bag of crap that I'll divulge unto you to try and fit where you can, but at the end of the day I know its not what you were really excited for when my family and I walked in through the arrivals gate. 

Love you Dad.

Happy Father's Day-thinking of you




See you back in Canada soon!

Sunday, May 22, 2022

Thanks for Reading, In Memory of my Cat, "Midnight" (2000-2007)

(Version 1) Noisy Neighbours

By: Carmelo Bono

For a time as a student I was renting out a smaller apartment in what felt like it should have been a retirement community by the looks of it. A dormitory would be more fitting, if we are going to classify it. Along with all the classic rustic fittings that an apartment affordable for a student might include, of course-A noisy neighbour. In hindsight-it could have been worse.

A student needs many things in life, among the list an important one being sleep (when they can afford the time to do so). Sleep was that treat on a Saturday night when a students has finished maintaining a social life and caught up on enough work to justify going to bed before 11:30pm. My parents suggested a dog or a cat to help warm/liven the apartment up. I opted for a fish once, was pretty decent at maintaining it and prettying up the tank space. However, after a tragic from sink to toilet bowl spill-I decided the more humane thing to do was to not have an animal in my care.

Being a student and someone who generally doesn’t go out of their way to meet new people, I didn’t get to know my neighbours, at least not until it was too late. When I first moved into the place, I was often so occupied into the wee hours of morning (likely being the noisy neighbour), that I really didn’t notice any noise. I picked up a job for a few months on campus working at an after hours diner followed by a relationship that didn’t really warrant me to be at my own place all the time.

Months have gone by and I had been settling into a new routine, part time work in the afternoon-less work to complete for classes and a holiday. For the holiday, I had made the goal to do something special for myself, “I am going to get some, real sleep!” I had now been able to take care of what ever responsibilities to hit the sheets around 10pm (when I stayed up to watch a film). I really liked being able to get up before sun rise, go for a walkabout or run, still having time to enjoy the sunrise over coffee and eggs.

Once holiday began I buckled into the routine and sure it took a day or two to actually fall asleep early, often I would help the sleep along with headphones and just sort of sing myself to sleep, but eventually it worked out. I enjoyed that first night of real rest (no headphones, and no television) until

about 11pm when in the silence of rest, my eyes shot open. Tucked into bed, and now hearing the apartment fill with what was seemingly a drowned piano, I looked up. Wide-eyed, I turned over to check the time. I can remember being so angry and embarrassed at the same time. Thinking back to the times I may have likely been the noisy neighbour, I remained tucked in bed. The noise of the piano was short lived actually. I was surprised, and nestled myself back into the cove of the mattress. I closed my eyes and off I was dreaming about-dancing sugar plums? Ya.

I woke up at 5 AM as the alarm went off. Not the worst night of sleep after I woke up and eventually back asleep, but also not good enough for me to warrant fighting my eyelids for the sunrise. I’m not kidding anyone anyway, classes were on a hiatus due to holiday, there was nothing to do but develop a somewhat normal routine anyways.

I felt that same joy of that first night, being tucked in-ready to shut my eyes. Ready to sleep, real rest (no headphones, and no television) until about 11pm-again when in the silence of rest obstructed by the random gentle tinkling of keys from the apartment above, and then repeated again. For the next 30 minutes I lied in bed debating until I finally decided to put in my headphones and sing myself to sleep.  

My eyes shot open, the sun was high beaming my bedroom window. I jumped out of bed, and continued on with my day. Late breakfast, workout, late lunch, socializing and then dinner. I got home a bit later than 10 PM but early enough that I could hit the sheets-except this time I sat my baseball bat beside the bed, I’m short, but the baseball bat gives me just enough length to use controllable force and gently tap the ceiling to alert my neighbours that its bloody late and I want to sleep.

Eyes widen, just as they were about to close 11:30 PM “What in goodness gracious!?” Tonight it was just banging on the keys and then a “THUD!” as though someone had picked up the stool and placed it back down on the bare floor. I jumped right on top of my sheets and began incessantly banging on the ceiling. Out of my frustration I banged the ceiling so hard I seemed to had cracked the plaster. I got down off my bed, cursed the room, the situation, the idea of sleep and ended up watching a television show. A while later the piano started again, “How can no one else be bothered by this!?” Looking at my watch, I ground my teeth when I realized it was already 3 AM. I stormed out the door and as my door slammed and cringed and cursed out of frustration.

Going up the stairwell to the next floor, I calculated which room (carefully) I had needed to knock on. When I knocked on the door I was more than a little alarmed. A bang, scrapping and smash of something glass seemed to echo into the hallway. I spoke up, “I am going to call the police.” Silence.

A neighbour across the hall opened the door, I turned around and got spooked a bit when I noticed them leaned in their doorway, “glad you did it, I was about to actually dial.”

I inquired with the older woman a bit, other than “strange middle-aged man who must be doing drugs.” I didn’t get much else to really help me along with understanding what was going on. A couple days later, I felt bad (and like I may have also painted a target on my back). I may have also really wanted to know what the deal was with this guy upstairs. I went by a diner, picked up two coffees and a couple doughnuts. I waited for the noise to begin. I went upstairs and knocked-"Thud", "Bang", and a pan or metal plate ringing as it had just fallen and spun out flat onto the floor.

I didn’t hear anyone scurry around or pick things up. I figured maybe the dude was on drugs and maybe my last visit spooked him a bit. Maybe he became paranoid and I might have just become someone who may have also just targeted someone with a mental illness. Now I really felt like garbage. I sat outside that apartment silently until eventually I fell asleep (20 minutes later).

It must not have been long after that when around 6 AM I got a steel toe nudge into my side. I cringed, squinted my eyes as the bright lights of the hallway were a bit much and looked up. I saw an average looking guy from that area, thick brown moustache, pony tailed brown hair, and “Ford Racing” over the chest of an aged black t-shirt. Blue jeans put the picture together when I realized this guy didn’t have a mental illness, nor was he  drugs (at least not to the extent I had imagined in my mind). After I stood up looking into his face against the brightness of the hallway, he looked me in the eyes and sternly said, “if you don’t get the heck out of here now, I’ll call the cops.” I won’t lie at first I was ready to pee my pants a little, this guy had the drop on me.

I said, “Wait, man” and my voice trailed off as I looked and tried to gather my thoughts. I pointed at the coffees and doughnuts. “Oh! You need a place to squat-well let me help you get the heck out of here.” He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, opened the stairwell and tossed the doughnut bag down along with my blanket.

Jaw-dropped, I stared, gawked and stuttered as I tried spill the words, “Yo, but.” I scrambled as I tried balancing the coffee holder he (rather gently considering the situation), shoved into my chest. His Hand on the back of my neck forcing me out the stairwell door, as I nearly tripped over my feet passing through the door, he slams it shut and very inappropriately told me where to go.

I was livid, confused and rattled. I looked back in through the window as he walked away, his back turned and he looked directly at me and pointed and began to fast pace back towards the door. The older woman saw me exchange a glance and that’s when she sneakily went back into her apartment. I wandered back downstairs.

At this point, I just collapsed on my couch, what a disaster. I didn’t even bother sifting through that over the top drama. I figured “I’ll deal with it later-future me problem. Right now, I just need sleep.” Dozing off, forgetting about everything really, my eyes begin to shut and then, “knock, knock”. I was instantly awake again, and this time I was a little too awake, I grabbed my baseball bat and looked through the peephole of the door. This is going to become a bit of a nightmare “What!? I’ll call the police, scram.” I grumpily grunted at the guy.

“Ugh, listen guy-I need to first say I am really sorry. I didn’t understand why you were outside my apartment, there has been some weird stuff happening lately and I think I finally figured it out.” he nervously confessed.

“Dude, I am not a psychologist or a rehab counsellor, get outta here.” I sternly demanded.

“Listen man, it was my cats, I can’t understand the coffee and doughnuts or you sleeping outside my door, but based on what the lady across from the hall said to me, ya. I need you to know it was my cats and I’m sorry.” Now, he clarifying this just made me a little be more upset.

“Man, you are at home, look after your bloody cats. Nor did you answer when I came around the first time.” I stated with disbelief.

“Man, look-I work nights alright, I can’t attest to what you experienced here while I was at work but I can tell you that I leave around 9-ish, I have a piano near and end table to two cats that mess up my apartment all the bloody time.” This guy either thought about dealing with whatever issues he has for a long time or this actually makes sense.

“Well, not that I completely believe you, but I got an extra cold coffee here that tastes about as bitter as I feel about this morning, how about you show me these cats.” The guy laughed at my request and also choked up a bit.

“Actually ya, sure. I got them here. I’m gonna be taking them to the shelter I guess, don’t really know what else to do with them to be honest.” I opened the door and looked at the guy waiting for further explanation. “My mother passed away recently, these two fur balls were generally the most interesting part of her days, most of her stories were about how much joy it brought her watching them go nuts around her house.”

Jokingly, “Well that explains a lot, she must have had one heck of a medicine cabinet-sorry just-those two felines sound like professional wrestlers through the floor. I gotta say though, animals like that can do far less damage if there was not a piano for them to free base from.” Turning to the guy seriously, I made an impulsive and irrational suggestion. “If you are taking them to shelter anyways, would it be absurd to suggest that I help you look after them at night? I mean, granted, you must have tried locking them up a night before and I wager that didn’t pan out too well?”

The guy’s response was surprisingly light and enthusiastic, “Are you sure, you’d be having these two ridiculous creatures running around though-isn’t that just making the noise worse for you? To answer your question though, before you agree and think you will just lock them up at night. They just moan and cry throughout the night, not only does it sound heartbreaking when you hear them but its also loud and constant.”

 The guy and I worked out an arrangement in which he’d be willing to pack up/get whatever they need, and I’d essentially cat sit for him in the evenings. He confided that he was more nervous that’d I would report him for having pets (didn’t realize we weren’t allowed). However to avoid raising suspicion from other tenants I thought it worth mentioning my place wasn’t cluttered with belongings of an elderly woman.

Strangely enough, after sometime I noticed that the cats weren’t actually loud and energetic in the evening. If I were home and put on the television, they’d actually sit there curled up and then migrate to the bedroom with me.

It seems that their antics were how they dealt with the void of their original owner. Not that a person can ever replace a lost loved one, but support through a loss of that magnitude might be the answer to a lot of the internal troubles some face. Communication, whether it be from person to person or person to feline, is not just a manner of improving the quality of one’s life but potentially a key to unlocking a purpose to the crazy way things pan out.

Version 2 (aiming for publication in Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul - Cat Lovers)

Noisy Neighbours

By: Carmelo Bono

I felt that childlike joy of being tucked in-ready to shut my eyes. Ready to sleep, rest-until 11pm-again when the silence was obstructed by the gentle tinkling of keys from the apartment above, and then repeated again. For the next 30 minutes I laid in bed, until I decided to put in my headphones and sing myself to sleep.

My eyes open, the sun was coming through the window. Late breakfast, workout, late lunch, socializing and then dinner. I got home around 10 PM, early enough that I could hit the sheets-except this time I sat my bat beside the bed, the bat gives me just enough length to use controllable force and gently tap the ceiling to alert neighbours that its late and I want sleep.

When I first moved into the place, I was often occupied into the wee hours of morning, that I really didn’t notice any noise. I picked up a job for a few months working an after hours diner followed by a relationship that didn’t really warrant me to be at my place as much.

The holiday began, it took a day or two to actually fall asleep early, often I would help the sleep along with headphones and just sort of sing myself to sleep, but eventually it worked out. I enjoyed that night of sleep, until  about 11pm when in the silence of rest, my eyes shot open. In bed, and now hearing the apartment fill with what was seemingly a drowned piano, I looked up. Wide-eyed, I checked the time. I remember being so angry. The noise of the piano was short lived. I was surprised, and nestled myself back into bed.

Eyes widen, just about to close 11:30 PM. Tonight it was banging on the keys and then a “THUD!” I jumped up and began banging the ceiling. I banged the ceiling so hard I cracked the plaster. I got down off my bed, and ended up watching television. A while later the piano started again. Looking at my watch, it was 3 AM. I stormed out the door of the apartment.

Going up the stairwell, I knocked on the door. A “Bang!” scrapping and smash of something glass seemed to echo into the hallway. I barked, “I am going to call the police.” Silence.

A neighbour across the hall leaning in the doorway, spooked me a bit when I noticed them, “glad you did it, I was gonna dial.” I inquired with the lady, other than “strange middle-aged man who must be doing drugs.” I didn’t get much else.

A couple days later, I felt bad. I may have really wanted to know what the deal was with this guy. I picked up two coffees and doughnuts. Waited for the noise to begin,  went upstairs and knocked-”Thud”, “Bang”, and a pan or metal plate ringing as it had just fallen and spun out flat onto the floor. I didn’t hear anyone pick things up. I figured maybe the dude was on drugs and maybe my last visit spooked him. Maybe he became paranoid and I might have just become someone who targeted someone with a mental illness. Now I really needed to know. I sat outside that apartment silently, eventually I fell asleep.

Around 6 AM I got jab to my side. I squinted, bright lights of the hallway were a bit much. I saw a guy matching the description from the elderly lady. After I stood up looking into his face against the brightness of the hallway, he looked me in the eyes and sternly said, “Get outta of here now, I’ll call the cops.”

“Wait-” and my voice trailed off. He grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, opened the stairwell and tossed the doughnut bag down.

I was livid, confused and rattled. I looked back in through the window as he walked away. At this point, I just went back to my couch. I didn’t even care. I figured  right now, I just need. Dozing off, my eyes begin to shut and then, “knock, knock”. I grabbed my baseball bat and looked through the peephole of the door. “What!? I’ll call the police, scram.” I grunted.

“Listen guy-I’m sorry. I didn’t understand why you were outside my apartment, there has been some weird stuff happening lately and I think I finally figured it out.” he nervously confessed.

“I am not a psychologist or a rehab counsellor, get outta here.” I sternly demanded.

Almost apologetically he says, “Listen man, it was my cats, I can’t understand the coffee and doughnuts or you sleeping outside my door, but based on what the lady across the hall said, ya. I need you to know it was my cats and I’m sorry.”

“Its your home-look after your cats. Nor did you answer when I came around the first time.” I stated.

“Look-I work nights. I can’t attest to what you experienced here while I wasn’t, I have a piano near an end table that two cats knock stuff off every night.” He now sounded embarrassed.

“Well, not that I completely believe you, but I got an extra cold coffee here that tastes about as bitter as I feel about this morning, how about you show me these cats.” The guy laughed at my request.

“Actually ya, sure. I got them here. I’m gonna be taking them to the shelter-I guess, don’t know what else to do with them to be honest.” I opened the door and looked at the guy waiting for further explanation. “My mother passed away recently, these two fur balls were generally the most interesting part of her days, most of her stories were about how much joy it brought her watching them go nuts around her house.”

Jokingly, “Well that explains a lot, must have had one heck of a medicine cabinet-sorry-those two felines sound like professional wrestlers through the floor. Animals like that can do far less damage if there was not a piano for them to free base from.” Turning to the guy seriously, I made a suggestion. “If you are taking them to shelter anyways, would it be absurd to suggest that I help you look after them at night? I mean, granted, you must have tried locking them up a night before and I wager that didn’t pan out too well?”

The guy’s response was surprisingly light and enthusiastic, “Are you sure, these two ridiculous creatures running around though-isn’t that just making the noise worse for you? To answer your question though, before you agree and think you will just lock them up at night. They just moan and cry throughout the night, not only does it sound heartbreaking when you hear them but its loud and constant.”

 The guy and I worked out an arrangement in which he’d be willing to pack up/get whatever they need. He confided that he was more nervous that’d I would report him for having pets (didn’t realize we weren’t allowed). However to avoid raising suspicion from other tenants I thought it worth mentioning my place wasn’t cluttered with belongings of an elderly woman.

Monday, June 21, 2021

Happy Father's Day Nonno (2021)

 Wishing you a very Happy Father's Day Nonno-I know you are somewhere else now-but with the way things have been for me over the last few years. I know you are still here with us. 

Love you, everyday Sam gets bigger I continue to imagine how you would have felt to see him doing the things he does. In some ways I think I may have done things much differently than you and my father did-but I really wish you could be around to actually see and sit back with me as Sam develops into the interesting person I hope he becomes.

Much Love, 

Carm.

https://necrocanada.com/obituaries-2020/carmelo-salvatore-frederico-bono-5-janvier-1934-26-juin-2020/


Friday, June 14, 2019

Cheng Gong award (last one of the 2018-19 year at DMLIS)-goes to....

Pre-Note: No, this is not another ego stroke for me.

This is actually post-winning the award here at our campus, I need to give it out.

I am giving it to someone who is very important to me and here is how I am going to share it with the staff at our meeting at the end of the month before flying out.

"Ain't no mountain too high, ain't no valley to low, ain't no river wide enough baby-if you need me, call me-no matter where you-no matter how far-don't worry baby, when you call my name, I'll be there in a hurry-you don't have to worry.

We are going to play a quick game-"Guess who?"

This individual comes from place-in Canada-Guess?

This person is great at Basketball-Guess?

This person teaches P.E.-Guess?

They love beer-Guess?

Now, hold your guess, for the answer,

Well, these are things that makes this person...this person in most of our minds. But the thing about this person that resonates with me the most is a bit of a conversation from a time together in a group.

"9 days is difficult, you should be in pretty good shape, it says on the website, I recommend 12 days" said Paul as he looks at someone else in the room as if suggesting that they were, well, not in shape. No, it wasn't me.
"Carm, when you made the plans, did you not consider the fact that you probably won't make it home for Spring Festival?" asked Kenny.
"Nah man, we are going to do it 9 days-we can do it in 9 days-its easy, well I read it was". Carm nervously shares
"Well, if our medical insurance doesn't cover helicopter rides down a mountain-looks like we are leaving you up there Jer." Kenny suggested.

To answer-No, and No-didn't need a helicopter and no, MSH doesn't cover helicopter rides during trekking expeditions.

Kenny, a true friend walked through hell with me and back, been there as a co-worker, someone who actually had humble beginnings in N310 back in the day. To growth through AQ's and years of experience, future HOD of Boy's P.E. someone who is a great rapport with the students, and one of the those people who is generally striving for success. A model to anyone new or returning.

Cheers!"

Thank you Meghan Hanbury,

A shout out to my former supervisor/department head back one of the BEST gigs I had as a student back in the day. Working at Lakehead University, there was quite a few jobs I tried my hand at, and the Phon-A-Thon was one of my favourites (hands down). Was a very fair gig, lots of room for part-time work and even more room for social gatherings before/after. Everyone you work with is awesome and all you need to do is have a pleasant conversation with someone who already graduated from Lakehead. Sweet? Totally!

Well, over the years (as you will see), I have kept in touch with Meghan (my supervisor/department head). Not only is she an amazingly understanding facilitator, but also just a wonderful person. Thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts Meghan, means worlds!

Hi Carm,

"So glad that you approved and I’m looking forward to being able to show you the final product.

If you’re specifically looking at Alberta, would you like me to put you in touch with the Calgary Chapter president?  I’m sure she’d be more than happy to answer your questions about the province and maybe even offer some hints about job hunting?  There are so many grads located there.

Sounds like sending a package won’t work out at this point in time.  But we will compromise by sending you a housewarming package whenever you move back to Canada.  I’m so glad that you like that we’ve kept in touch.  You were definitely one of our stand-out students in the Phone-a-thon and you were such a great volunteer.  I’ll always remember your family being the first ones in the door at Convocation and they jokingly asked if I knew you.  That was such a great moment. 

It was also a privilege watching you grow during your Lakehead experience and head off on an adventure to China.  I’m sure it has felt isolating at times but it’s certainly a journey to be proud of.

All the best!"

Thursday, April 25, 2019

100 Days of Life, Thanks for Coming!

In China, it is common practice (less now I guess as traditions begin to change), that the new born celebrates 100 days of life. For a number of reasons this is commonly practiced. It is said by my wife's family that the celebration was to "lock-in" 100 years of life in the life of the new-born.

I think this is a lovely idea, but realistically speaking, I understand it as, the child survived 100 days of life after birth and is more likely to live a healthy life than the potential risks and dangers it would have normally met in the first 100 days of life.

For this celebration we had friends meet up and celebrate over a few drinks and dishes with our son at a local restaurant in Jinshitan. My Mother-in-Law was in town, as she was presenting Sam with a "gold lock" (a pendent) that essentially locks in 100 years of life. Interesting thought. I think its always fascinating to learn and observe new cultural traditions and what not as well-just really really wish my parents and family were around.

Regardless, as practiced in traditional Chinese culture, the man in particular needs to give a speech. I wrote one and it was met with some criticism, my view on the purpose of the celebration was "wrong" apparently (I still had a good time, and delivered my speech), the wife liked it, that is all I care about.

Here it is for you to observe, just another thought about "culture" and history really.


I am giving this speech today in recognition of our son’s 100th day of life after birth. I want to start by saying that there was a time when the first 100 days of life were anxious time, not for the reason of no sleep or having to work the next day.
wǒ jīn tiān fā biǎo zhè ge yǎn jiǎng shì wèi le jì niàn wǒ men ér zi chū shēng hòu de dì 100 tiān
 There was a time that it was a concern of life and death.
céng jīng yǒu yí duàn shí jiān , zhè shì duì shēng sǐ de guān zhù"
This celebration was a symbol of thanks to all those who helped shelter, put food in the mouth of the child and ultimately loved the child.
zhè cì qìng zhù huó dòng shì gǎn xiè suǒ yǒu bāng zhù bì nàn bǎ shí wù fàng zài hái zi zuǐ lǐ bìng zuì zhōng ài hái zi de rén de xiàng zhēng
Times may change, but the meaning does not.
shí dài kě néng huì gǎi biàn , dàn yì yì què méi yǒu
If I said there wasn’t a time where Lily and I were completely certain of everything-I’d be exaggerating.
rú guǒ wǒ shuō méi yǒu shí jiān lì lì hé wǒ wán quán què dìng yí qiè -- wǒ huì kuā kuā qí sī de
But with the help of many of you in this room, we were able to provide comfortably.
dàn zài zài zuò xǔ duō rén de bāng zhù xià , wǒ men néng gòu shū shì de tí gòng fú wù。
With advice and guidance especially from Lily’s Mother, Ren YuQi-we were able to grow as parents and as a couple.
tè bié shì lì lì de mǔ qīn de jiàn yì hé zhǐ dǎo ,-Ren YuQi, wǒ men néng gòu chéng zhǎng wéi fù mǔ hé fū qī。
Every family has its quirks, ours is named Sam. He keeps our life interesting. My parents always told me that parenthood is when children experience the mischief that their parents experienced.
měi gè jiā tíng dōu yǒu zì jǐ de guài pǐ , wǒ men de jiā tíng jiào sà mǔ。
·         My parents also tell me I was good a kid, I slept all the time. *
wǒ fù mǔ yě gào sù wǒ , wǒ shì gè hǎo hái zi , wǒ shuì dé hěn duō "
I’d personally like to mention that my family couldn’t make it here for any of this experience
wǒ gè rén xiǎng tí yí xià , wǒ de jiā rén zài zhè lǐ wú fǎ cān jiā rèn hé zhè xiē jīng lì
-for what is not just the happiest experience in my life but the most beautiful experience a family could go through.
wǒ yì shēng zhōng zuì xìng fú de jīng lì , dàn què shì yí gè jiā tíng suǒ néng yōng yǒu de zuì měi lì de jīng lì。
That is the hardest part, for me personally.
zhè duì wǒ lái shuō shì zuì kùn nan de
 I am emotionally wrecked much of the time, its hard on my family-especially my wife who listens to me complain. I would like to make a toast to her especially for not just putting up with one child, but two.
wǒ xiǎng wèi tā jìng jiǔ , tè bié shì yīn wéi tā bù zhǐ shì rěn shòu le yí gè hái zi , liǎng gè hái zi
A toast to my mother-in-law, I know we have a different understanding of what parenting looks like.
wèi wǒ de yuè mǔ gān bēi
But from the bottom of my heart-with these people as witnesses. I am thankful for you coming and being here today on this special day.
wǒ gǎn xiè nǐ jīn tiān zài zhè ge tè shū de rì zi lái dào zhè li
You were here when it was not easy for Lily, or I.
dāng zhè duì wǒ men lái shuō bìng bù róng yì de shí hou , nǐ jiù zài zhè lǐ
You provided help, love and comfort.
nǐ tí gòng le bāng zhù ài hé ān wèi
I may not be as verbal with my gratitude as I used to be, but I guess that makes it that much more meaningful.
 wǒ kě néng méi yǒu nà me kǒu tóu de gǎn xiè. tā shǐ tā gèng yǒu yì yì。


The bold characters beneath the English is the Chinese PinYin (easier for me to read than th actual characters).



Cheers to you Sam, 100 days to 100 years.